Who to thank in your wedding speech sounds like it ought to be very obvious, doesn’t it? The guests have joined you for your special day, the father of the bride will in all likelihood have made terrifying financial contributions to your budget (whether those same contributions are terrifyingly large or terrifyingly small is another matter) and the supporting cast of brides maids, page boys, best man and ushers will in all probability have played a significant part in the proceedings. Why should that be complicated?

The most obvious issue is to be very careful not to forget anyone – particularly where such an indiscretion may lead to extensive displeasure. Nobody ever sets out to do it  but sometimes in the heat of the moment, that carefully prepared performance may not deliver with quite the polish that it did in your bedroom as you posed solemnly in front of the mirror for the 10th time to cement the quality of your performance on the day.

The answer, where conditions permit, is to keep your notes simple, clearly written and focussed on the main points. The next phase is to ensure that you deliver your address slower than your inclination on the day urges. If all else fails, a great face-saving technique is to stop, look at your audience in a slow sweeping gaze and deliver an amusing and entirely unexpected punch line. One best man who shall remain totally anonymous is rumoured to have shuffled in theatrical manner through his notes before looking to the audience and speculating (of the groom) “he’s had a page out of here”!

In the heat of the moment grooms have been known to omit to praise and thank their bride and best men to respond to compliments to the brides maids. In traditional ceremonies, the groom will usually pay splendid compliments to the brides maids and offer grateful thanks. It is to the best man to agree with the groom and to formally offer thanks on behalf of the brides maids.

Not all weddings follow a traditional style. If your wedding is a “theme” wedding, the theme can be whatever the imagination can produce. If your wedding follows a Western theme then no doubt your guests will have gone to considerable trouble to dress for the part. The more outlandish the theme, the more effort this may entail. Don’t forget the obvious areas like the distances that people may have travelled to be with you. Bride and groom may or may not have both parents with them for their happy day so tact and discretion are equally important.

Take time to prepare. Give some thought to the guest list. Consider possibly delicate encounters on the day. To adapt the old management expression, “proper planning prevents predictably poor performance”. It falls to the groom, father of the bride and best man at the very least to produce a sizzling performance.

In many cases, speeches are an important and integral part of wedding days. While they are generally distinct and separate from formal civil and religious ceremonies, speeches are often much anticipated and agonised over by the not insignificant number of participants to whom the honour falls. Where the individual speaker may agonise over the composition and delivery of their piece, guests at the ceremony in question will frequently indulge in a great deal of speculation as to the parts that will be included or left out!

While cultural rigidities are often more and more relaxed as time progresses, there are those within all communities who hanker after more traditional times and lobby hard for adherence to once-revered values. Such a backdrop of the traditional verus newer (and often less rigorous) observation of the desired restraints of many societies provides a fertile breeding ground for a whole spectrum of discomfort and (dare one suggest) situations ranging from slightly uncomfortable to simply hilarious.

It is against this backdrop that the composer of the modern wedding speech must prepare their piece. Running the gauntlet of appeasing the strictures of the older generation and those younger persons whose attitudes instinctively align with the traditional views of their community, the budding speech maker must also appease those awaiting a more spirited or less guarded delivery!

If that was not enough, there are a myriad of social man-traps to be negotiated. From previous spouses and dis-affected relatives to children of previous relationships and the sometimes uncomfortable coming together of differing cultures and fragments of dislocated families, the speech maker’s way can at times be littered with terrifying challenges.

In future posts, such delicacies will be examined in detail. For the best man, groom, father of the bride and others the wedding speech will earn a place in history. It is the measure of that place in history that is the variable and it is hoped that our series will help to make that a more enjoyable experience and secure the best possible place in that historical league table.

Thank you to all of you who entered our prize draw.

Congratulations to the winner Lynda Lamper. She will be receiving a case of wine very shortly.

To the unlucky entrants,

If you haven’t already booked any services from Sussex Wedding Planner then take a look at the site to see if we can be of any assistance to you. The site is now being regularly updated with extra information. If we can be of any help then please contact us.

Rachel Barker

This offer is soon to expire.

Remember if you book a consultation by Sunday 22nd February 2009 you will receive a complimentary bottle of champagne.

To receive the champagne both parties must agree a convenient time and place. This consultation can be booked as far ahead as you wish as long as it is booked by Sunday 22nd February.

The champagne will be presented at the initial consultation appointment.

Contact us now!



Our personalised handmade wedding stationery range is growing by the day. Pictures will soon be uploaded onto the stationery page.






Getting ready for 2009



Sussex Wedding Planner will be at the Charmandean Centre in Worthing on 11th January 2009.



The following fayre will be at Fontwell Park Racecourse, Fontwell, Arundel on 8th February 2009.



We hope to see you there.



These events are organised by Stylish Events