Who to thank in your wedding speech sounds like it ought to be very obvious, doesn’t it? The guests have joined you for your special day, the father of the bride will in all likelihood have made terrifying financial contributions to your budget (whether those same contributions are terrifyingly large or terrifyingly small is another matter) and the supporting cast of brides maids, page boys, best man and ushers will in all probability have played a significant part in the proceedings. Why should that be complicated?

The most obvious issue is to be very careful not to forget anyone – particularly where such an indiscretion may lead to extensive displeasure. Nobody ever sets out to do it  but sometimes in the heat of the moment, that carefully prepared performance may not deliver with quite the polish that it did in your bedroom as you posed solemnly in front of the mirror for the 10th time to cement the quality of your performance on the day.

The answer, where conditions permit, is to keep your notes simple, clearly written and focussed on the main points. The next phase is to ensure that you deliver your address slower than your inclination on the day urges. If all else fails, a great face-saving technique is to stop, look at your audience in a slow sweeping gaze and deliver an amusing and entirely unexpected punch line. One best man who shall remain totally anonymous is rumoured to have shuffled in theatrical manner through his notes before looking to the audience and speculating (of the groom) “he’s had a page out of here”!

In the heat of the moment grooms have been known to omit to praise and thank their bride and best men to respond to compliments to the brides maids. In traditional ceremonies, the groom will usually pay splendid compliments to the brides maids and offer grateful thanks. It is to the best man to agree with the groom and to formally offer thanks on behalf of the brides maids.

Not all weddings follow a traditional style. If your wedding is a “theme” wedding, the theme can be whatever the imagination can produce. If your wedding follows a Western theme then no doubt your guests will have gone to considerable trouble to dress for the part. The more outlandish the theme, the more effort this may entail. Don’t forget the obvious areas like the distances that people may have travelled to be with you. Bride and groom may or may not have both parents with them for their happy day so tact and discretion are equally important.

Take time to prepare. Give some thought to the guest list. Consider possibly delicate encounters on the day. To adapt the old management expression, “proper planning prevents predictably poor performance”. It falls to the groom, father of the bride and best man at the very least to produce a sizzling performance.